Could I be an actor?

Hi,
After much consideration and the fact I am a ‘Scaredy cat’ I am leaving the online dating behind, to use a construction analogy ‘women are just wired different’ and being honest I just don’t understand the wiring diagram. Within the space of a two hour date I had spoken to a total stranger about the prospect of her having more children. I think I will leave my love life to a chance meeting in a bar or keep bumping into attractive single looking women in the supermarket with my trolley to instigate conversation (and I said women were wired different).
My daughter has finally got a job (in telephone sales) and passed her driving test all in the same week. Has she finally made a breakthrough? I have brought her a car and paid her first month’s insurance which over the twelve month period will be twice the value of the car.
My son and heirs selling Kitchens and seems to be doing well. At twenty four years old he has temporarily moved back home with his partner and their twin boys now aged three (yes I am a grandfather).
With regard to my older children the word ‘hypocrite’ often springs to mind. While my son was going through college he often brought home his girlfriends and the ‘that’s my boy’ feeling of pride often washed over me. Often when friends of mine called while my son was entertaining one of his girlfriends the flexing of long deteriorated muscle and the sucking in of beer infused stomachs was in hindsight embarrassing and best compared to the film ‘American beauty’. I have a six pack it’s hidden under my party seven.
My daughter, when she brings home a boyfriend still prompts the flexing of muscle but this is often coupled with the phrase ‘I have a gun’.
I have been working in daaarn souwwfff in Edgware the past two weeks for an actor and do you know ‘I could do that’. I am seriously thinking of going to some auditions. As I am going to be close to the capital for the next six months, I’m thinking why not. It seems actors are not stereotypical and come in every shape and size. It takes all kinds to be an actor and looking in the mirror in a morning I definitely seem one of a kind.
Next week, how I get on with my audition application and my bloody driving experiences which I’m collating in a diary back and forward to Edgware that should according to my sat nav take just over three hours but have in fact taken up o eight hours on some occasions.
Dave x

Lies, damn lies and internet dating.

Good morning, good evening or goodnight.
I now realise I have put little thought into my online dating plan. I joined, no charge at this point, and was then faced with a questionnaire.
Now I’m a pretty much what you see is what you get type of guy, not thoughtful with hidden depths but clever enough to know if I’m not posting a pic on my site I should rate my attractiveness quite high so when Pamela Anderson logs on she clicks on me.
So having been given a choice of very attractive or attractive? I put very attractive, perhaps I should have added in the right light, but I’m not saying if that lights on or off.
At this point a friend calls for coffee, I explain what I’m doing and why to which he responds ‘I don’t know about Pamela Anderson, perhaps the biggest tit on the site is filling out the questionnaire’. This reinforces my feeling of foreboding but I’m going to push on.
The rest of the questionnaire seemed basic hair colour, eyes, height, and salary. Salary? They are covering all the bases. Now do I put high and lie, average and lie or low and get no visits? So I put high. Incidentally for height I put six foot and I’m five eleven, so I must remember my name on the site because I could never find myself by the description.
I posted my description and for the next two hours visited my e-mail in box every five minutes to see if I had any alerts as to a visit. Nothing. I’ve bloody lied to make myself appear more desirable and nothing. I decide it must be an e-mail technical fault so e-mail myself from another account. Five minutes later I check again. One e-mail in my in box, result. I click to open my in box. The e-mail is from my other account testing for a technical fault. Bollocks.
This saga is going to run on and on but at least I now only check my in box hourly and I get a result but that’s for next week.